Missing Posts

Dicky B was straight on the ringer to me demanding to know why the posts had stopped, his Virgin empire was ready to negotiate media rights for our continuing exploits then nothing, silence, no explanation, leaving millions of followers filled with worry and emptiness.

As with any celebrity couple the paparazzi felt a need to fill in the gaps. He lost his wallet and phone and wasn’t able to post, but they have continued their journey through the Beautiful Passé Paise, crossing the Lot and Tarn on their way back to the Dordogne. Cycling the length of the Vienne then taking the Loire east until Nevers, across Burgundy and through the longest cycleable tunnel in Europe outside Cluny. They spent the height of summer along the Nivernis Canal following the Borgogne back to lazy swims in the Saone. Down to Lyon, across to Geneva via the Rhone and through an overpriced Switzerland to Lake Constance the Source of the Rhine. It is rumoured we shot up its full 820 mile course taking in Austria and Germany before a whistle stop tour of Holland and nipping back down to the South of France.
It’s all rubbish of course, we’d have had to cycle another 4314 miles to do all that.

No the truth is much simpler.

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We were abducted by Aliens.